35. Single. In transition. Don't know what is next. On Saturday, January 2nd I turned 35. I really can't believe. In my heart and mind, I am still 16 just with much more experience, knowledge and independence. Ha! This birthday, like all of my past birthdays, people wish me health, happiness and success. Also on the list, a man. A man that will sow his seed and give me children, that's if there is still time. Now the topic of choice is how time is running out. That as I get older, my eggs will dry up and what then. My mother talks to me about adopting -something that I have always considered doing, at the age of 35.In third grade, which is when I made most of my major life decisions such as living on my own before marriage, never ending up with a dude that is dumber than me, becoming a lawyer (then a scientist, then a lawyer again) and adopting a child -an older child, someone no one wanted. Yeah, those are some major decisions to make at the age of 9.
So here I am. 35. What do I have to show for it? Some would say that I have accomplished so much. Yes, that is partially true. I have accomplished all that I have ever wanted professionally. I have a great relationship with my family and friends. But there is this major part that still remains to be fulfilled -having my own loving, whole, dysfunctional, functional family. A husband to call my own, children to care for and the whole kit and caboodle that comes with it -extended family, friends, weddings, baptisms, school recitals, spankings, crying, laughing all that. Yup, I want this for my life. But what if....what if that life is not meant for me. What if I am not the marrying kind, the having children kind. What if I am always going to be that crazy cousin -la americana, la gringa who just never seemed to have a stable relationship.
I guess I shouldn't think about those things to much. Yes, I am 35! Gorgeous, Single, Living! I am lucky to have tons of love, care and soul in my life. I have much of my life to live and my job right now is to live it to the fullest. To live with intention and an open heart. All that will be, will be.
Since my first day on earth in 1975, I have embarked on a terrific journey. This moment in time right now of my life I am living according to my rules with faith in the great spirit of the universe. What is to come is far greater, nothing I have ever imagined than what I have lived thus far. This brings me excitement, a bit of anxiety but must of all wonder and amazement at the many turns life can take you through. On this highway, there are no limits.... Es ahora que me estoy poniendo buena!
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