My Sister, La Ciguapa

I love my sister! She is one of the most awesome people in my world. A true testament to evolution, change and growth. She was born in 1979, when snow storm where still snow storms, when the family would come together every Sunday to eat, gather and be merry -oh and of course talk about Trujillo and Balaguer, and disco was waning away. My parent and I were sitting in the living room one day, my sister still in utero, talking about the arrival of my sister and what her name should be.

I was four years old, living the life that all dream of -having your parents all to yourself, no sharing! In my little leader way, I told my parents that the baby's name was Melissa, just like a girl in my class (or rather daycare). Just so cute, my parent negotiated with me and agreed on naming my sister Lisa. Lisa means "God's promise" according to thinkbabynames.com. It is a pretty, simple name. Just Lisa.

We were in for a big surprise with Lisa. My sister didn't stop crying for I think like 25 years! From day one, she just cried, cried and cried. It wouldn't stop. Any little reason and the tears and screaming would commence. No one really knew what to do with her but just let her cry. When I was about 10 and took hold of my poetic-side(hahaha), every time she would cry I would chant "cry, cry until you die." Oh boy, that would make her cry even more and of course as a mean big sister I would just laugh at aggravating the situation. Yeah, it still makes my laugh.

As a teenager, she just became weirder and weirder. Lisa liked Green Day and wearing strange colorful socks up to her knees. She studied witch craft and apparently was able to put some relationships on cold-ice with her magic. Also called La Ciguapa by my Tio Frank, my sister very much had a magical side to her. In Dominican folklore, la ciguapa is known to entice men with her beauty and her long black hair. The one odd thing about la ciguapa were that her feet were backwards. (For more info on the Ciguapa check out http://www.ciguapa.blogsopt.com/; www.jmmercado/mipais/cultura/mitos/ciguapa.htlm). Lisa's hair was always out of control, long, big and full of dust bunnies from hidding under the bed!

Being a middle child -but always getting tons of attention, most of the time negative attention-in her teen's and early 20's was full of angst, and melancholy. Alleged at one point she ran after my brother with a knife -she was just really pissed off. Great article on middle children: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14335112/. The stories of her madness are endless from throwing potted plants to one of my mother's customers in the hair salon to marrying her 1st baby daddy because of a pregnancy.

After having two children with two different fathers, and find a man (currently her husband) who has provided her with love, stability and structure, she has got it all! Now a wife and mother of three of the most beautiful children in the entire universe, a small business owner (http://www.rollitandblowit.com/), she really has got it all. Her magic is full on. She has this ability to bring together all of her worlds -all the grandparents, fathers, uncles, aunts, friends -to celebrate her children even in her own house. These gatherings are always full of love, togetherness and no bochinche...which is truly a feat in itself.

Everyone loves my sister! Lisa is sweet, giving and in her madness tender. My sister has helped me to become the woman that I am today. I love my sister! (Picture: www.deybicastro.com/2008/10/la-ciguapa.html)

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow: Copenhagen, Climate Change and the Politics to Save Our World

When I was a little girl I remember the big nevadas of the 1980's. It would snow non-stop, snow to your knees. You wanted to be careful not to go near the yellow snow -since you know what was underneath...yuck! You could do some proper snow sledding in Van Cortlandt park. It was so cold, your fingers and toes could break off. When you had no heat and hot water in the apartment, it was a death wish. You could go for days wearing leggings, leg warmers boots and two pair of pants just trying not to freeze your ass off.

Now, it snows a day or two, all I need is a pair of thick pantyhose under my pants and a hat. No more of those freakin' bleeding, cold NYC nights. It's still gets cold don't get me wrong but no like the in the Raving 80's. The last couple of days the media has been showered with the discussions at Copenhagen, Cllimate Change, China and CRAP!!! The ice caps are melting, rivers are rising, islands could disappear, the ozone layer (which no one really talks about anymore is most probably growing still), forests are disappearing, urban sprawl has diminshed free breathing land, wars for limited resources, carbon prints -dios mio, the list goes on.

Where do we start? The Debate: Definitely start with the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change at http://unfccc.int/2860.php. On Climate Change and its' impact on Latin America read this from the Brookings Institute http://unfccc.int/2860.php. Read Rinku Sen's article in the Huffington Post http://www.racewire.org/archives/2009/12/originally_published_on_the_huffington.html where she discusses how environmental justice issues impacts communities of color in the United States and the Global South. Update on New York and Climate Change read http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/09/nyregion/09bloomberg.html. And of course the Dominican Republic and Copenhagen see http://www.diariodigital.com.do/articulo,48265,html.

How can I prevent the rise of rivers, stop the ice caps from melting. Some things I do: I ride the train -even though the MTA loves to increase the fares every other day, carpool with my friends when i can catch a ride, turn off my lights, print less, eat at home, and recycle cans, bottles and newspapers. There is so much more for me to do to reduce my carbon print while the world tries to become right again. Til' then I will enjoy the snow as it comes down and lands on my nose, cojerlo suave. The answer is in slowing down...

CIR ASAP: International Migrants Day

A couple of days ago, Rep. Luis Guiterrez and the Congressional Hispanic Caucus joined by several allies, presented its' proposal for comprehensive immigration reform entitled Comprehensive Immigration Reform As Soon As Possible (no that's not the real name but I appreciate the pun). On these serious matters we always need a bit of humor. I was very excited to see that our very own Bronx Congressman Jose Serrano included the Child Citizen Protection Act language within the provisions of CIR which if it survives will be a much needed alivio for our community here in Northern Manhattan and the Bronx. This means 2010 will be a year fraught with love and hate. Immigrants will continue on their message of love -family, compassion and forgiveness. Hate groups will on their message of hate, division and fear.

So is there a middle ground? Is there a negotiating point where both parties will walk away feeling like they won the battle? Is there a place of rest between these two tensions? As in the practice of yoga while you are pulling yourself in all different directions, you are to mindfully surrender to the pose and find that space, that silence where you can breathe. Does that space to breathe exists within the immigration debate?

As I am writing this, I don't think so. Both groups are extremely charged and are fighting for their lives as they see it. One side wants to have it all both here and there while sharing in the American Dream. The other just wants it all to themselves and no one else. Screaming at the top of their lungs, this incessant war of the future look of America makes it very hard to really listen to what is at the core of this debate -freedom of (r)evolution.

Yesterday, I was watching Parang Khanna on TED -my new favorite site: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/parag_khanna_maps_the_future_of_countries.html Here he discusses how the borders of the world are constantly changing because of the way people move to live and word. There was no discussion on the United States and its' relationship with Mexico and the rest of Latin America and the Caribbean. However, while he was discussing the relationship between Russia and China I could not stop thinking about how much this situation was so much like the United States / Mexico and the Lousiana Purchase. Also known as the Reconquista -America's biggest fear.

An article in the New York Times discusses how the white population in American will be the minority in 2050 -scary for those KKK folks and white supremacists groups. It is like the end of the world for them -well it is as they know it. There tactics have turned violent as the world has seen with the killings of Marcelo Lucero and countless others throught the United States. Janet Napolitano with the okay of President Obama has instituted more repressive and oppressive measures such as the 287 (g) program. Massive amounts of immigrants have left areas of the South because life has become unbearable. Some going back home, others moving to different parts of the country like New York. But this doesn't even factor into the reality of the changing demographics. This will not stop the rise of Latinos, Asians and Blacks. So what is the answer?

I think the answer is that the United States can no longer resist the idea of change, and (r)evolution. As suggested by Khanna, the United States must surrender to this real fact of the changing borders in a non-violent way which is comprehensive immigration reform. Further criminalization of immigrants can not be part of this package. The continued and increased deportation of undocumented and legal permanent residents is not the answer. This just creates more despair, anger and rage in immigrat communities. I hope that as the debate moves forward, that the negotiators of CIR do not sell out -legalization in exchange for more deportation. This can not be our negotiating point. Do so is unjust, inhumane and plain wrong.

In conjunction with this, the United States will have to reconsider its' foreign policies in Latin America and the Caribbean to create sustainable and livable countries so that people won't have to leave their homeland. Most importantly, all this work must occur with a human rights lens to ensure that the right of people are preserved.

As our country is pulling itself in two directions, I wish President Obama and all of our leadership to surrender in the tension and listen to the quiet at the core -there they will find the answer for the future of America and the immigrants of the world. There they will find the balance which we need to ensure a just and humane comprehensive immigration reform.

(Picture: Dying to Live: A Story of U.S. Immigration in the Age of Global Apartheid by Joseph Nevins and Mizue Aizeki)

Compasion y Perdon: The Rise and Fall of Miguel Martinez

It is truly an end of an era. Today, Miguel Martinez has been sentenced to 5 years in prison for mail fraud and stealing over $100,000 from public funds for his own personal use. Everyone is angry, saddened, frustrated to know such a bright, intelligent man with the brightest of futures has fallen so hard.

At the turn of the 21st Century, young Dominicans heeded the call to become the next generation of leaders, those who would bring about change to the thousands who have come to this county searching for a better life. 1997-2000 marked critical years where groups like Dominicans 2000 were founded, The Dominican American National Roundtable was founded to bring together folks from all over the country and we witnessed the rise of new political leadership all over the U.S. including the Dominican Republic.

Miguel Martinez, an example of this new found energetic cadre, was active in neighborhood politics . Taken under the wing of his political mentor, Adriano Espaillat, he became the winner of the 2001 NYC Council elections. He went on to change the face of politics in District 10. Many groups were funded that we never funded by the city council district 10 before, he worked with and fought with an array of political allies and friends that were never truly brought into the fold of NYC politics. So much so, his vision and ambition got the better of him and he decided to challenge his godfather, Espaillat.

Summer of '08, Martinez ran for Assembly. This is the beginning of the end for Martinez. Realizing that he would no longer be a New York City Council member (pre-extension of term limits), he eyed the next possible position for him to occupy. Many thought he was insane to fun against Espaillat -to take on the old guard. The newspapers and blogs all ridiculed Martinez for acting like a bad kid in school, un nino malcriado. Congressman Rangel and others asked him not to move ahead with this idea. They promised him that they would find a place for him to go, to remain relevant. He would pay dearly for this. His bravado brought him into the spot light. In conjunction with this, the New York City Council came under the spotlight for its' manner in allotting funds to community based organizations city-wide.

These two occurrences then created the perfect storm to oust Martinez. Through investigations of the council members, Miguel Martinez (and I am sure other people in his circle), stole what really does not add up to alot of money but a whole lot of cheatin' and lyin'. While all of this is going on, in the fall of 2008 he voted for the extension of term limits and it was announced that he and his pet project UCAN was under investigation. No one thought the worse.

July 14, 2009 Martinez resigns. December 15, 2009 Martinez is sentenced to 5 years in jail. All the farthest thing from all of our minds. No one thought that he would fall. Some knew the details, many kept quite, rumors went around but no one really believed it until it happened. so at the end of an exciting and hopeful era, it ends....tragically.

Now a whole generation, a whole people will be judged on the actions of one person who did not think. That let only his ego and pockets guide him. Miguel had the opportunity to be surrounded by intelligent, well-meaning people who have integrity, a north star. But I don't know how or when he got lost.

His meager beginnings in politics did not start on a clean slate. For those who were around him at John Jay College, CUNY would know that the year he because student body or class president -not quite sure - his competitor committed suicide days after it was announced the Martinez won the election. Not that I blame Martinez for this man's decision but the omens were all around from the start.

Regardless of his sins, Martinez has a good heart and is a good person. I will not throw stones. He did great work at a New York City Council member -he spoke out for immigrants, took a public stance against the deportations of US Dominicans to DR and Dominican-Haitians from DR to Haiti. He brought everyone in positions of power to the neighborhood. Martinez supported tenants in their rent strikes (yeah and he did take contributions from landlords). Moreover, he created a debate, competition, make us think about how and why we do politics.

Yes, I am sad. Anyone who commits a crime should pay but his sentence is harsh. Not because others don't even do 1/2 of what he has to do but because weighing all of his positive actions as a council member outweighs the @100,000 he stole. Because so many saw their futures in him, because he represented a new politics, a new breed, a new day.

Our community is resilient. We have faced so many other tragedies and obstacles. New leadership has come in the form of Ydanis Rodriguez and there has been a new consolidation of power for Espaillat as the foremost Dominican elected official in New York. Now we begin a new era, vamos a ver.

(picture from New York Daily News website July 16, 2009)

The Feminine y lo Sexy: Pole Dancing

I have to say that over the years I definitely have lost some of my sexy -that way you move, you talk, you look. When I took my first major position, I strove to be taken seriously, to be seen as a woman with a purpose and not this little girl who was wanted to be in the living room con los adultos. Dominicans will send you to your room or outside and yell at you if you're all up in their adult conversations. Ella si es a'genta! Go and be with the kids, go play your games.

But then that moment comes, the one which no one really prepares you for, becoming a responsible, adult, leader quiene tiene que ser un ejemplo para todos. No one really tells you how to balance this, how to keep yourself, your soul. People make remarks like -oh did you see what she was wearing, did you see what she said, can you believe that she thinks she is all of that, y quien es ella. So as you try to be 'somebody,' you lose your own body. I lost that thing, that little spark that made me me. That make mi gente, that make mi ELLA!!!!

There are plenty of women that use their sexiness to their advantage to grab power and more. Some women know how to tirar esa mirada, shake that booty and shimmy their shoulders -make that glamour. But me, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted people to respect me solely for my mind and intelligence. That they would see my brilliance in my words and actions. I was not to show my vulnerable side, the sexy. But in that process I for lack of another word de-sexified myself.

Sexiness is not only about being powerful and overtaking. Sexiness is about showing that very primal vulnerable emotional side of your being. On Friday, I got a chance to be that vulnerable and strong sexy chic, at pole dancing class.

Como, pole dancing class! How did that happen? Friday, I went to the gym for my weekly yoga class. Arriving 10 minutes late to the class, I wasn't allowed to go in. So I asked the front desk person what is the next class and what time does it start. "7:30, Pole Dancing. Have you ever done pole dancing?" Dios mio I have never done such a thing. I am a respectable woman, I am no stripper chic. But deep down inside I knew that I would love it so I said why not.

What an experience. I clapped for all the women who were performing amazing feats on the pole. There was one young short chunky black woman who W-O-R-K-E-D IT. God damn. The most powerful move, the vagina monster!!!! Woahhhhhhhh!!! It looks like a tarantula that is gonna devour you. Any woman that does that move, definitely got it like that. That is the feminine power.

I cheered myself on as I tried to jump on the pole and slide down which I unsuccessful did about 5 times and today have very sore, purplish knees and a big hickey-type mark on my right arm. How fun it is to go round and round and round the pole. I developed a new found respect for the stripper women of the world that work that pole.

What I liked most was being a room full of woman that were all encouraging one another to work it, to be sexy and strong. A great space for exploration, no judgment, no fear. I am excited to finally come in contact with what I have lost for so long -my sexiness. Actually it wasn't very graceful, or sexy but I could feel the stir in my soul. My body is in crazy pain but I feel little by little the healing of my heart...even through pole dancing.

Mujeres y La Politica: A Community Domestic 'Non-violent' Violence Story, A Meditation

Politically, a nosotras nos dan punaladas, cuchillazos, nos pegan cuernos, nos roban, mienten, de to' yet we always stick by our men. How is this possible? Hablando de amor propio, why do we continue to give up our beauty, youth, vivaciousness to complacer these dudes. I too have been a complicit victim to this silent violence. Thinking that thre is love, he will do right by me but in the end it was all a farce, broken -to feed his ego, his pockets.

Olvidate de eso, I don't want to do my politics with these dudes but some how you always end up in bed with them whether you like it our not. They all live in the same house. We occupy different rooms. But at night, when it is time to go to sleep -ahi es cuando que te lo meten. Shit! Sometimes it feels real good, other times it borders rape.

So if I want to be at the dinner table, not at the kids table, if I want to be an integral part of the deicision-making process, do I have to submit myself to this violence. Or do I have another choice? The family is a big family so there is always someone able to fulfill the wants of the dudes. It is hard to win, because there is always a replacement. You can end up being kicked out of the house, no rights to the table or even to the left over food -you have been disinherited.

Can I leave the house and be a visita de avez en cuando? But then I don't get to be at the table all the time, only when invited. Or do I become like that neighbor that come to your house like everyday with no invitation and gets to sit at the table because it would be rude -but eventually they get tired of your ass and somebody will tell you don't come over anymore.

Or do I go and create my own home, my own family, with new rules of love, respect and communication where no one is hit or hurt. Where we nurture each other talents, vision and purpose and encourage everyone to go and find there own homes when it is their time. Our dinner table is always open to everyone who adheres to our rules and there is plenty of food for everyone.

But eventually these two homes will come head to head, there will be civil war -a non-violent, violent war. This is the war for the hearts of the people. A war of ideas, of vision. Yes, I think that is exactly what we need. I will wage my war not to win the number of votes, but to win the hearts of our people for a more open and civil political system.

To all the young women of color who are considering entering politics or who are there, save yourselves. Create your own home, your own political identity, your own voice. Don't just blindly do their bidding of these men who care little for you or your future. There are some benevolent patriarchs that will care for you, give you a job, give you a promotion, a raise here and there, keep your stomachs happy but will never allow you to fulfill your potential. You are the one to make sure that you fight for your independence, your purpose, your being.

Ally yourself with those people who will help you along on this journey. Mentors, colleagues, friends, family -this too will be difficult because even those that you thought would always be with you will turn their backs on you. Some will insult and assault you. They too will become violent against you. It is hard to identify those who will do this, but something in your gut, your intuition will let you know that something is off. Listen!!!!! Get quiet and LISTEN!!!! Listen to that internal voice telling you -oh, I thought she was my friend, I thought he would react a bit different. BE AWARE!!!!!

But in all of this, I know it is hard, do not lose your sense of hope and faith in people. People are inherently good. Like my mother told me, do not become bitter, because then you will end up like them. You must do everything to protect your spirit!!!!! This has been my greatest lesson in the last couple of years. Keeping your spirit in tact is of the utmost important. This is the center, the core of your being. El Espirtu Santo!!!! You can think of it on religious terms, in whatever terms you like but you must care for and protect your sanctified spirit because this is the one thing that is yours and yours alone!!!! You are the keeper.

Do all that you do with love and light. Do what you feel is right. Say no when you don't want to do something and tell them to respect your no, voice your reasons. Keep fighting for your right to live in a democratic world. Our fight will never end for democracy and our right to be.

Liderazco Es Mas Que Dar Un Saco de Arroz: Reflections on International Human Rights Day

Over the last 12 years, I have thought lots about leadership. What is leadership? Leadership is the ability to move, inspire and make a statement. The ability to articulate a point of view, to move that idea to be the idea of others and to win the heart and minds of a people. Leadership is the ability to know when to act, to surrender, to be loud, to be silent. It is an artform that only becomes developed through practice.

However, there are two major obstacles to leadership that every one of us encounters on a daily basis, fear and ego. Fear sometimes protects us from doing the wrong thing but most of the time it deters us from doing the daring and necessary. Ego on the other hand allows us to believe that we are the end all and be all. Our ego does not allow for the flow of positive energy, it blocks and creates barriers between individuals. It is extremely difficult to put it aside.

So why do I write about this topic today? I am very disappointed in the leadership of my community. While recognizing all of the wonderful things that have been created, barriers broken and the strides made over the years, I am disappointed in that 1) we don't really value one another (unless somebody dies), 2) there is no real space for nurturing and developing leadership -but there is definitely a space to critize, discourage and breakdown leadership, 3) there is no initiative to be LOUD, to defy, to say what exactly we want.

What do I want? I want to see my community expand its own notion of what is leadership, to be purposeful in its' nurturance and development, to be fearless against the establishment/the machine. There is this paradigm of you are either with us or against us, it is black or white, there is no in between and there is no room for independence. That we have to deal with what we got, people just want "un saco de arroz" and that there is no hope in the future leadership.

I want to seek to challenge these perceptions that we have about one another, that our communities deserve the best -not this mediocre crap we have been dealing with all of our lives. I want to strive to create a new cadre of leaders that will think, write, and create. Leaders who have passion, vision and a mission. Leaders who can learn to do it all -be balanced, healthy and strong.

The International Human Rights community has always been consider the most lofty and intellectual side of social movements. I think we must bring that loftiness to our local struggles. We need more writers, artists, social commentators, bloggers, elected leaders who embody the full range of what it means to be activists.

To create change means having a framework, an infrastructure, the word and action. I call on my leaders to write, to be loud, to live happy balanced lives and to demand the best! I call on myself to live out my vision for myself and for the world.